Just so you know...

I've lost about ten posts. This is what happens when I start to feel comfortable with my mad design skillz. Fortunately, they're not lost forever. I can recover them. But the process is is taking longer than I'd hoped.

This means that I'm not ready to update this blog, though! I've just recently acquired some new readers, thanks to some kind folks linking to me. I don't feel like I can just jump into the drama where I left off, since no one will have any idea what I'm talking about.

Hopefully everything will be back to normal soon. Thanks for being here at all!

No Boyfriends, Lots of Boys

Guess who else works at the radio station. Go on, guess.

Taylor.

Oh my gosh, that was a surprise.

Todd and I walked on the cancer walk track thingy for a while (I guess this had been going on all day, but Todd was scheduled to make his appearance in the evening). Then we went over to the radio station's booth where I was again introduced to everyone as Todd's girlfriend. (I wonder if anyone else saw me grimace every time that phrase was used!)

Then we sat down on a chair/couch thingy (wow, could I use "thingy" a few more times in this post!?) RIGHT next to Taylor, who didn't even seem to RECOGNIZE me. Nice. I've made such a great impression.

And of course I'm feeling SO guilty, because I'm sitting on my boyfriend's lap, drooling over the guy on the chair next to us! Meanwhile, Todd's got his hands all over me and I'm thinking, "dude, I don't even want you kissing me, let alone whatever you think this groping is preliminary to...".

So I know you're wondering if we had our "talk." No. UGH!!! Which means that I'm stringing him along some more, which is NOT my intention, I promise! There were just people around us the whole time last night, so I couldn't have my chat with him! So I asked him when I could see him again and he told me that he's going out of town for the weekend-- won't be back until Tuesday. Which means that I'll have this hanging over my head until then. And he'll keep telling people that I'm his girlfriend until then. Sigh.

My new motto is No Boyfriends, Lots of Boys.

Oh, come on. I don't mean it in a slutty way. Just a flirty way.

Speaking of lots of boys, I'm running to play practice now. Woohooo!

So, I guess Todd's my boyfriend...

Or at least that's what he's telling people, though I don't remember any discussion along those lines.

In fairness, we've been out several times now, and kissed at the end of every date.

And now I have to say something really awful: It's not getting better. Not the dates, not the kissing. Now, I love kissing. Like, a lot. Kissing is a good thing. It's possible that I like it TOO much. So the fact that I DREAD kissing Todd is not. a. good. sign.

But it's not just that I can't stand the thought of kissing him. I can't stand the thought of being ALONE with him anymore. He's so, so boring. Ugh. I'm not sure what to do. I've led him on. This is my fault. And now he's telling everyone that I'm his girlfriend, which means that now I have to break up with him, whereas otherwise I could just sorta stop seeing him.

I'm really bad at breaking up with people. Just ask my last two ex-boyfriends. I strung them on for weeks (or months!) before finally saying, "look, we're done."

Tonight, Todd and I are going to a big party hosted by the radio station. It's also a cancer walk thingy, so I guess I'll be walking with him some of the time. I won't back out now, I've already committed to it. But maybe afterwards we can talk. As in, "talk." Akh!

Wish me luck...

So much drama in drama!

We started play practice today. Well, it was more like a round-table discussion, getting to know the play and the characters, etc. I sat with a couple freshmen girls because, well, there was a spot available with them and also because they don't have their cliques yet. The other girls in the play seem to have known each other for a million years. They come across as a bit... snooty. Not one of them tried to talk to me nor did they even really acknowledge my existence. Nice.

The cast is pretty small. Only 15 of us, or so. And only five of us are girls. The odds are nicely in my favor. :-D

Taylor was there, of course, looking so amazing that I had to remind myself not to drool. He seems to be quite friendly with some of the other girls-- the ones I called snooty. They've all probably worked together before. Still, I'd kinda hoped that he would look my direction from time to time, and he didn't.

But there are other boys. They pale in comparison to Taylor (gosh, EVERYONE on the PLANET pales in comparison to Taylor!) but they existed, nonetheless. One, a guy named Jason, was pretty cute and seemed to look my direction frequently enough.

But, boys aside, snooty girls aside, I think this play is going to be a lot of fun. The director is really cool. I love his vision. I think it will be great working with him.

And then there's the assistant director. Yum. Nuff said. Oh, sure, he's like a decade older than me, but who cares? I'm not planning to marry him or anything. I just want to look at him. :-D

The Sweetest Thing!

Well, I went out with Todd last night. He took me to a nice-ish Mexican restaurant nearby. The food was good. The conversation was... well... a bit stale. Okay, I'm not going to freak out about that, because it was just a first date. And he looked great. Still. He talked. A lot. About... well... nothing much. haha. Oh, I'm being way too harsh. I think I'm being harsh for another reason...

After the endless dinner, we drove around Small Town for a bit while he talked some more. And I was perky and sweet and said all the right things, like, "uh-huh" and "wow" and "no WAY!"

Then he took me home. When we got to my apartment, he put his hand on my back and leaned in and kissed me. It should have been so sweet and tender... but... it just wasn't! I don't know why not! It was like kissing cardboard or something. Though the chemistry might have been better with cardboard. Ugh. I don't know why it was so bad, but it just WAS! And I feel like a brat for even writing this.

No, I'm not throwing in the towel yet over one lame date and an even lamer kiss. I like this guy (I think) and I'm willing to give him a few more chances.

-------

So, just now, I turned on the radio, knowing that he was on right now. When the song ended, he came on and announced the next song. He said, "this one is for Catie, because she is... the Sweetest Thing." And then U2's Sweetest Thing came on. And I started squealing and both Hailey and Marissa came running in because they'd heard it upstairs in their rooms too. So we all stood there, arms intertwined, jumping up and down, squealing like schoolgirls. Hahaha. We're such a cliche.

But come ON! Wasn't that cute? Yeah, I definitely need to give Todd another chance. I think we're hanging out on Friday, so I'll keep you posted.

Tranquility

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Playin'

Oh. Mygosh.

I got into the play. Okay, it's not a lead or anything, but it's a PART, and that's all I care about!

Oh... and Taylor got in too... I knew he would.

The cast is pretty small-- only 15 people or so. Which means that we're all undoubtedly going to bond, right? ;-)

I've never looked forward to rehearsals so much in my whole life.

Pardon me while I float through this dreamland!

Last night was the big night! Janie, Sherrie, and Marissa (my roommates-- we have one more--Hailey-- but she's got a boyfriend, and therefore doesn't hang out with us much) all went over to Spencer and Todd's apartment to watch a movie. Spencer has a massive TV... and that's the best thing there is to say about the movie. They'd rented Rushmore, which they claimed was the best movie ever.

Um... I'd go with LAMEST movie ever. Seriously. Have you seen it? Ugh! Don't!

But, fortunately, I wasn't there to watch the movie. I was there to become... uh... better acquainted with Todd. You know, Hotty Toddy with the Naughty Body. (And yes, i called him that. How could I not?)

Well, last time I saw Todd, I thought that he was perhaps a bit stand-off-ish. Maybe a little out of my league or something. Um, well, he's convinced me otherwise now. He was so flirty and into me. I was kinda taken off guard, honestly! Anyway, we sat super close together throughout the movie and... well... he smelled really great. Hahaha.

When the LAMEST MOVIE EVER was over and everyone was gathering their stuff and saying goodbye and so on, Todd pulled me out into the hallway alone because he "wanted to talk to me." When we were alone, he seemed almost nervous! It was so cute! He asked me if I wanted to go to dinner with him on Tuesday (he doesn't work at the radio station on Tuesday). I said "yes!"-- probably a bit too eagerly, but hey. Who cares? I've got a date with Todd!!!!

And in walks Brad Pitt...

About a week ago, I walked passed a sign, announcing auditions for a play that day. Okay, now that I've changed my major and moved to a new school, my plan was to stay away from the theater department. There's something addicting about acting, despite the fact that I suck at it... and the stress involved messes with my head. Basically, I HATE theater-- which is why I changed my major in the first place. And yet, I saw this announcement and decided that... well... I wanted to audition.

So I went to the audition. And... I rocked it, if I may say so myself. And I got called back!

(Here is where I need to interject that the assistant director is crazy hot. I guess he's a professor here. I bet he's very popular... I think I might sign up for his class, even though I'm NOT A THEATER MAJOR ANYMORE. But hey... if the professor's hot... I'd even be a math major.) (Hahaha. Have you ever heard of a hot math professor?)

So I went to call backs. Here we were, a bunch of hopefulls in a large classroom, reading pieces of the script that were given to us, and watching each other. Possibly hating each other. Knowing that we were competing with each other. Trying to outdo each other.

Almost everyone there knew each other, of course. Small school, third-year theater majors, mostly. There were a couple of outsiders like me, but we were the exception.

And then the door opens and the most gorgeous man I've ever seen in person walks in the door. Okay, it WASN'T Brad Pitt, but he could have been his clone (well, his 24-year old clone). So, so beautiful.

And I was gawking at him. Oh my gosh, it's so embarrassing. I'm normally a bit cooler than that, but in this case I could. not. help it. He was so out-of-this-world gorgeous. It was clear that every woman in the room thought the same thing I did. He didn't seem to notice. He's probably really used to it...

Anyway, his name is Taylor. He's as charismatic and charming as he is gorgeous. And he was great in callbacks. He's definitely got the role he was hoping for.

Do I?

I'm suddenly REALLY wanting this part! I'll keep you posted.

Hotty Toddy with the Naughty Body

So this afternoon, I was listening to the university's radio station and I heard the DJ call the DJ who was coming in to replace him, "Hotty Toddy with the Naughty Body." Okay, if that weren't funny enough, I was then informed that this is the same Todd from my last post. MY Todd. I'm laughing so hard...

The New Girl in Town

I moved to Small Town just prior to this school year. Because it is a small town university, the students, by the time they're my age (20) are mostly established. They have their friends, their groups, their hang-outs, etc.

But being the new girl, I don't have any of those things. In some ways it makes things a little bit lonely, but mostly it's fun because the whole world is open to me. I haven't been pigeon-holed yet.

Today I went to church with my roommate, Janie. As we were walking down the hallway, two boys walked past us. Now, suffice it to say that one was gorgeous, the other... well... not so much. Janie grabbed my arm so hard that I thought she was having a heart attack.

"Holy Shnikeys!" (Yeah, she really said "shnikeys") "That's Spencer." From the dreamy look on her face, I gathered that there was some history there. I also realized that the cute boy was officially off limits to me, since I'm just NOT going to start off the semester by chasing my roomies crush.

Maybe in my second semester...

"Well," I said carefully. "Are we going to go talk to them?" Janie is a bit shy, and possibly a touch... uh... homely. Definitely not a pro at the flirting game yet. I have so much to teach her. haha.

She took a deep breath and said, "yeah. Let's go talk to them." She walked a bit faster to catch up with them and called out Spencer's name.

And the ugly dude turned around.

"Oh, hey Janie," said the not-very-attractive Spencer. I realized that Janie's crush was NOT the boy I'd been eyeing, which means that the hot one was NOT off limits...

Cue introductions and small talk and Janie talking in a voice that sounded a couple octaves too high... but she was super cute, and Spencer seemed really happy to reconnect with her. So, if nothing else, at least Janie has something to beam about.

As for the hot one, his name is Todd. And, in case I hadn't mentioned it yet, he's hot. Like... way hot. Haha. I have no idea if he's the slightest bit interested in me, but we'll find out soon enough. The boys invited us and our other roomies over for a movie at their apartment on Friday. We'll see how that goes...

Nice to meet you...

I created this blog a while back, intending to use it as an outlet for my photography or my writing or something artsy-fartsy like that. And I may still play along with "wordless wednesday" and maybe some writing games or something, but mostly... not.

Today, in my Creative Writing class, my professor suggested that we keep a journal of the things that happen to us every day. Drama happens every day. Conflict happens every day. And over the years, we can go back to our journal of real life events and turn those realities into fantastic fiction.

So, I thought I'd try that, since that's what I want to do when this college scene is all over.

That means that this blog is no longer an outlet for creativity. This is my journal.

And, well, not just any journal, but my love journal. Haha, okay. Fine. "Love" may be too strong a word. Let's just leave it at "the boys who show up in my life and what I choose to do with them" (when the choice is mine... which, let's face it, is only SOMETIMES the case)!