Just so you know...

I've lost about ten posts. This is what happens when I start to feel comfortable with my mad design skillz. Fortunately, they're not lost forever. I can recover them. But the process is is taking longer than I'd hoped.

This means that I'm not ready to update this blog, though! I've just recently acquired some new readers, thanks to some kind folks linking to me. I don't feel like I can just jump into the drama where I left off, since no one will have any idea what I'm talking about.

Hopefully everything will be back to normal soon. Thanks for being here at all!

No Boyfriends, Lots of Boys

Guess who else works at the radio station. Go on, guess.

Taylor.

Oh my gosh, that was a surprise.

Todd and I walked on the cancer walk track thingy for a while (I guess this had been going on all day, but Todd was scheduled to make his appearance in the evening). Then we went over to the radio station's booth where I was again introduced to everyone as Todd's girlfriend. (I wonder if anyone else saw me grimace every time that phrase was used!)

Then we sat down on a chair/couch thingy (wow, could I use "thingy" a few more times in this post!?) RIGHT next to Taylor, who didn't even seem to RECOGNIZE me. Nice. I've made such a great impression.

And of course I'm feeling SO guilty, because I'm sitting on my boyfriend's lap, drooling over the guy on the chair next to us! Meanwhile, Todd's got his hands all over me and I'm thinking, "dude, I don't even want you kissing me, let alone whatever you think this groping is preliminary to...".

So I know you're wondering if we had our "talk." No. UGH!!! Which means that I'm stringing him along some more, which is NOT my intention, I promise! There were just people around us the whole time last night, so I couldn't have my chat with him! So I asked him when I could see him again and he told me that he's going out of town for the weekend-- won't be back until Tuesday. Which means that I'll have this hanging over my head until then. And he'll keep telling people that I'm his girlfriend until then. Sigh.

My new motto is No Boyfriends, Lots of Boys.

Oh, come on. I don't mean it in a slutty way. Just a flirty way.

Speaking of lots of boys, I'm running to play practice now. Woohooo!

So, I guess Todd's my boyfriend...

Or at least that's what he's telling people, though I don't remember any discussion along those lines.

In fairness, we've been out several times now, and kissed at the end of every date.

And now I have to say something really awful: It's not getting better. Not the dates, not the kissing. Now, I love kissing. Like, a lot. Kissing is a good thing. It's possible that I like it TOO much. So the fact that I DREAD kissing Todd is not. a. good. sign.

But it's not just that I can't stand the thought of kissing him. I can't stand the thought of being ALONE with him anymore. He's so, so boring. Ugh. I'm not sure what to do. I've led him on. This is my fault. And now he's telling everyone that I'm his girlfriend, which means that now I have to break up with him, whereas otherwise I could just sorta stop seeing him.

I'm really bad at breaking up with people. Just ask my last two ex-boyfriends. I strung them on for weeks (or months!) before finally saying, "look, we're done."

Tonight, Todd and I are going to a big party hosted by the radio station. It's also a cancer walk thingy, so I guess I'll be walking with him some of the time. I won't back out now, I've already committed to it. But maybe afterwards we can talk. As in, "talk." Akh!

Wish me luck...

So much drama in drama!

We started play practice today. Well, it was more like a round-table discussion, getting to know the play and the characters, etc. I sat with a couple freshmen girls because, well, there was a spot available with them and also because they don't have their cliques yet. The other girls in the play seem to have known each other for a million years. They come across as a bit... snooty. Not one of them tried to talk to me nor did they even really acknowledge my existence. Nice.

The cast is pretty small. Only 15 of us, or so. And only five of us are girls. The odds are nicely in my favor. :-D

Taylor was there, of course, looking so amazing that I had to remind myself not to drool. He seems to be quite friendly with some of the other girls-- the ones I called snooty. They've all probably worked together before. Still, I'd kinda hoped that he would look my direction from time to time, and he didn't.

But there are other boys. They pale in comparison to Taylor (gosh, EVERYONE on the PLANET pales in comparison to Taylor!) but they existed, nonetheless. One, a guy named Jason, was pretty cute and seemed to look my direction frequently enough.

But, boys aside, snooty girls aside, I think this play is going to be a lot of fun. The director is really cool. I love his vision. I think it will be great working with him.

And then there's the assistant director. Yum. Nuff said. Oh, sure, he's like a decade older than me, but who cares? I'm not planning to marry him or anything. I just want to look at him. :-D

The Sweetest Thing!

Well, I went out with Todd last night. He took me to a nice-ish Mexican restaurant nearby. The food was good. The conversation was... well... a bit stale. Okay, I'm not going to freak out about that, because it was just a first date. And he looked great. Still. He talked. A lot. About... well... nothing much. haha. Oh, I'm being way too harsh. I think I'm being harsh for another reason...

After the endless dinner, we drove around Small Town for a bit while he talked some more. And I was perky and sweet and said all the right things, like, "uh-huh" and "wow" and "no WAY!"

Then he took me home. When we got to my apartment, he put his hand on my back and leaned in and kissed me. It should have been so sweet and tender... but... it just wasn't! I don't know why not! It was like kissing cardboard or something. Though the chemistry might have been better with cardboard. Ugh. I don't know why it was so bad, but it just WAS! And I feel like a brat for even writing this.

No, I'm not throwing in the towel yet over one lame date and an even lamer kiss. I like this guy (I think) and I'm willing to give him a few more chances.

-------

So, just now, I turned on the radio, knowing that he was on right now. When the song ended, he came on and announced the next song. He said, "this one is for Catie, because she is... the Sweetest Thing." And then U2's Sweetest Thing came on. And I started squealing and both Hailey and Marissa came running in because they'd heard it upstairs in their rooms too. So we all stood there, arms intertwined, jumping up and down, squealing like schoolgirls. Hahaha. We're such a cliche.

But come ON! Wasn't that cute? Yeah, I definitely need to give Todd another chance. I think we're hanging out on Friday, so I'll keep you posted.

Tranquility

Find more Wordless Wednesday participants here.

Playin'

Oh. Mygosh.

I got into the play. Okay, it's not a lead or anything, but it's a PART, and that's all I care about!

Oh... and Taylor got in too... I knew he would.

The cast is pretty small-- only 15 people or so. Which means that we're all undoubtedly going to bond, right? ;-)

I've never looked forward to rehearsals so much in my whole life.